


Maybe I'm Amazed

by betheflame



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Natasha Romanov, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Chronic Pain, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21894799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame
Summary: Bucky Barneslovedpuzzles. The new kid, Tony Carbonell? Total puzzle. His wings look like prosthetics, he's smarter than everyone, and really quiet. He's also just about the most gorgeous boy Bucky's ever seen.Tony Stark is trying desperately to start over after a terrible childhood and a truly horrific early adolescence. He's living with his Aunt Peggy and trying out high school for the first time and using his mother's maiden name to lay low. He doesn't need to make friends - he's never had any anyway. He taking college classes online at the same time he's pretending to be in high school, so he just has to lay low and finish out his 'senior year' and as soon as he turns 18, he'll be off to Boston and graduate school at MIT.But then James Barnes asks him to dance and all bets are off.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Peggy Carter/Pepper Potts
Comments: 86
Kudos: 627
Collections: 2019 WinterIron_Holiday_Exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Iron_Eirlyssa (Eirlyssa)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirlyssa/gifts).



> Eirlyssa, your prompts were just so rich that I took a few of them and smushed them together. I hope you like the end result!
> 
> Thanks, as always, to HogwartstoAlexandria and kocuria for their brainstorming and beta-ing and cheerreading and reassurances that the story was worth the word count. And to Juulna just because.

* * *

* * *

**September**

James Barnes, Bucky to his friends and aged 17 and five months, had a passion. A passion which drove his twin sister, Darcy, and her boyfriend/his best friend Steve, and his other best friend Natasha absolutely insane, but a passion nonetheless.

He loved puzzles.

Jigsaw, logic, cryptic, word, mechanical… if it was a puzzle, James wanted to solve it. And his favorite puzzles to solve were human ones. He was the kid who read Agatha Christie’s entire catalogue by the time he was 9. He had passages of Liz Nugent’s _Unraveling Oliver_ memorized. When Steve’s great-uncle Harlan had been killed, James had been simultaneously devastated by the loss to the puzzle community (who would write all those great stories?!) and fascinated by how Benoit Blanc solved the case.

Even though science had long proved it an old wives tale, everyone still kinda believed your wing color said a lot about the career you’d go into. Since colors didn’t come in until the end stages of puberty - between 15 and 18 for most people - and there was no way to alter your wing colors, it seemed like the universe giving everyone a little nudge towards a path. Darcy’s were amber and gold, with flecks of silver and glitter - common for those in the creative arts. Steve’s were blue - a vibrant royal blue with silver accents that caught the sun whenever he moved and were absolutely massive compared to the rest of his stature. So, clearly, he’d be heading into protection of some fashion for a living. Nat’s had taken longer to come in than most - which she had insisted didn’t bother her, but her three people knew better - but now were resplendent in crimson and black, made in such a pattern than they can be entirely either color and had most people believing Nat would be very good at hiding in plain sight.

Bucky’s were beige with delicate cross hatched patterns of red and black and white.

_“You look like you’re wearing a trenchcoat from an old 1940s movie,” Darcy had remarked over breakfast the first time Bucky had curled his wings around himself._

_His eyes went wide. “Like Dick Tracy?”_

_“Oh Jesus Christ.”_

So Bucky loved puzzles, his wings confirmed he should be a detective… everything was great.

Until he discovered the puzzle he couldn’t solve.

“James,” Darcy smacked him upside the back of the head with one of her wings. Her use of his actual name meant she was annoyed. “You cannot keep staring at the new kid.”

They were all at their usual lunch table for that year, fourth from the back and on the left. Steve’s friend Sam and Darcy’s friend Jane were also with them. In the high school pecking order, Bucky supposed their group was close to the top. He, Sam, and Nat were all stars of their respective sports, Steve was the guy everyone went to for any art needs, while Darcy played piano for the orchestra and jazz bands. They didn’t have real reach into a few cliques - like the Mathletes, or the stoners - but they were pretty well connected. North Shore High wasn’t particularly cliquey anymore, anyway - there had been an incident with a bus back in the mid 2000s that changed the culture a bit - but James knew he was one of the popular kids and knew his friends were, too.

And yet, New Kid seemed nonplussed.

“He’s very pretty,” Jane said, in a matter-of-fact tone, like she was reporting data on a specimen. “Those eyelashes are something.”

“He has, so far, only said anything in two classes,” Bucky responded. “Chemistry, where Mr. Banner says he’s so far ahead of the rest of us that he should be in grad school, and English, where he and Ms. Potts debated if Gatsby was a tragic character or not.”

“Verdict?” Steve quirked an eyebrow.

“New Kid -”

“His name is Tony Carbonell,” Nat interrupted. “Can we give him the dignity of using it?”

Bucky blinked once. She was right. “ _Tony_ said Gatsby was misunderstood and then the bell rang.”

“I don’t quite get why you care so much,” Darcy mumbled around her sandwich. “I mean, he’s hot - Jane’s not wrong - but he’s clearly not into making friends and I didn’t think your ego was this bad.”

Bucky shook his head and looked around the table in wonder. _Did they really not see it?_ “You haven’t noticed his wings, then?”

“They’re black,” Steve said slowly. “Which is unique, but not unheard of.”

“The shine is a little weird and I can’t sort the texture,” Nat replied, eyes piercing into Bucky’s.

 _They have no idea he’s got fake wings._ With a lightning bolt of clarity, Bucky decided to guard his observation and keep his puzzling more discreet.

“Yeah, me either,” Bucky said quickly. “The texture is what’s bugging me.”

“Then just be a creepy stranger asking to touch them, and let’s all move on,” Darcy said. She steered the conversation to homecoming, which was happening in a few weeks, and Bucky’s mind wandered. There were only a handful of reasons that he could think of why someone their age would have fake wings - and none of them were pleasant.

If Tony had been born without wings, he would have been fitted with one of the Stark Industries Wing Packs that stimulated natural wing growth. Bucky knew what those looked like, and Tony’s didn’t fit the description. So to have fully prosthetic wings in high school meant that someone had broken Tony’s wings and from what Bucky could tell, the injury was down to Tony’s skeleton.

The boy walked hunched, like the weight was slightly too much, as though whoever designed the wings calculated for Tony to grow into them and he just hadn’t yet. The feathers moved in a patterned sequence, like they were programmed to, rather than the ways that his own feathers moved. Natural feathers were affected by wind, or the person’s movements, or being brushed up against. It’s why daily wing maintenance was so important - they needed to be brushed and oiled each night so that the finer fibers wouldn’t bunch. Tony’s feathers always looked perfect and uniform, even on a windy day. Touching a stranger’s wings intentionally was generally regarded as weird, but it was all Bucky could do some days to not just reach out and brush Tony’s.

And then there was the fact that Bucky was pretty sure they worked independently from Tony.

His own feathers were extensions of him, but Tony’s… was it possible that Tony commanded his feathers to do things? Because that’s what it looked like.

Tony Carbonell was a puzzle.

Bucky Barnes _loved_ puzzles.

* * *

**October**

Tony Stark was two months into life at this new school and so far, everything was quiet. He’d managed to avoid anyone finding out his real last name - thank fuck for NDAs and Aunt Peggy’s wife being an English teacher who could get him into a school last minute. He was bored out of his mind in most of his classes, but the online ones he was doing at MIT were enough to keep him occupied. The doctors had been clear that he wasn’t physically up for full lab work yet - his body had rejected so many implants already. At home at least he had Jarvis and the bots, but they couldn’t come with him to a school lab.

Life with Aunt Peggy was… good. He felt okay using that word, his therapist helped him understand that the other shoe wasn’t about to drop, that he was safe with Aunt Peggy and Auntie Pep, and that Obie wasn’t going to ever be able to hurt him again. Well, not without a lot of smelling salts since they’d buried him over the summer.

On this particular day, he was trying his best not to stare at James Barnes, easily the most beautiful creature that Tony had ever seen, while pretending to pay attention to Auntie Pep’s lecture on weaponized whiteness in _The Hate U Give_. He’d read it while he was in the hospital and loved it. But staring at James Barnes was still better.

Tony wasn’t really confident in his ability to act ‘normal’ - he’d never learned how. Even before Obie had taken such drastic control of his life, Tony had been homeschooled and mostly only saw his parents, and the house staff, and employees of Stark Industries that would come to the house.

_“Mama,” six-year-old Tony said to his mother, “why don’t I see any other people my size?”_

_“Your size, bambino?”_

_“You, Papa, Jarvis, Ana, Mr. Obie - you’re all big and I’m little. I want to see other little people.”_

Tony remembered that day with crystal clear clarity. His mother had gone on to explain that he was special, that no one else his age would have their colored wings and be able to use them so well. Tony’s red and gold wings worked as extensions of him, like a second set of arms, and she explained that the other children would be jealous and that it was best for him to keep to himself.

He missed those wings.

He also knew now that his brain was faster than everyone else’s and that one of the reasons his father had kept him close and controlled his education was that he wanted all of Tony’s focus to be on things for the company. Like when he was 10 and had figured out how to make prosthetic wings more comfortable for anyone who lost their wings after puberty. Before, the existing growth hormones would work, but the puzzle of how to help prosthetic wings connect fully with a person’s nervous system had been stumping scientists for decades. Tony fixed it in about four months.

Damn shame his own invention couldn’t help him - Obie had done too much damage to his skeletal system.

“Tony?”

“Yes, Ms. Potts?” He shook his head a little to clear the cobwebs of his daydreams.

He looked up to see his aunt hide a smile. “I asked if you had any opinions on the sequel, since you mentioned earlier that you had read it.”

“Oh, yes,” Tony said, his voice gathering strength as he went on. “ _On the Come Up_ is good, it doesn’t suffer from the usual sophomore slump of debut authors.”

He went on, answering some specific questions and drawing a few comparisons to the narrative they’d been discussing in class but was deeply grateful when the bell rang. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Steve Rogers saying something to James that made James throw his head back in laughter. Tony would have dreams about the line of James’ neck that night for sure.

When Tony got home later that afternoon, he went straight down to the basement/his workshop. He was most comfortable there, even though his aunts had refused to let him move his whole room down there.

_“It would be easier,” Tony explained. “I could just only go a few steps and fall into bed and then I wouldn’t waste the time of going all the way upstairs.”_

_“It’s forty-eight steps from your workshop to your bedroom,” Auntie Pep replied without even looking up from her grading. “I highly doubt those forty-eight steps are impeding the creative process.”_

_“But -”_

_“Tony,” Auntie Pep said gently, making eye contact with him. “You need to learn how to live outside of Jarvis and the bots. I know you love them and they are wonderful and they’ll help you change the world, because we all know you will, but you also need human friends and you need space away from your work. You’ve been told your whole life that you are valuable because of what you create. Pegs and I want you to understand that you are valuable to us simply because we love you. That is why you need a separate bedroom - your work stays in the lab, but you need other spaces to live your life.”_

_“But -”_

_“I know you’re a genius with wires, dear heart, and that sometimes humans confuse you, but surely you’re being deliberately obtuse,” she said, with a raise of one eyebrow._

_He sighed deeply. “Dr. Anderson put you up to this, didn’t he.”_

_“Your therapist agrees with our decision, but no, this comes from the two women who love you most.”_

As much as their decision frustrated him, Tony had come to understand why they made it. Boundaries were new for him - and it still felt really strange to be forced to do nothing sometimes, but he was sleeping more than 4 hours at a time for the first time in his life that he could remember and even _he_ wasn’t stubborn enough to deny that was a good thing.

HIs aunts had taught him so much about how things were supposed to work in a family. He now realized that Jarvis and Ana had been doing their best to counter act his parent’s negligence, but back then, he thought their encouragements to rest or their questions about how his day was were wastes of time.

Now he knows that’s what love sounds like.

He never noticed before that his parents never touched him with their wings. Their feathers never caressed his, his mother stopped grooming him when he was 2 or 3, and even when Obie was trying his best to appear paternal, he rarely did anything with Tony’s wings until… Until he did everything to them.

Auntie Pep and Aunt Peggy, on the other hand, were constantly touching him and his wings. They used their hands, they used their wings, and always explained to him what they were doing.

_“The tops of wings, your joints up here,” Aunt Peggy said not long after Tony had come to live with them, back when he was on his first set of prosthesis wings, “this is just like a shoulder or elbow. You can use this joint to offer friendly touch to friends and family.”_

_“Just them?”_

_“Well, Tony,” she said patiently. “We don’t tend to use our wing bones to interact with strangers. While we all brush feathers with people, and your wing bones will get jostled when you’re in public, it’s rude to touch a stranger’s wings intentionally without their permission.”_

_“And when you get strong enough to fly again,” Auntie Pep interjected, “because you will, Tony, we know you will, then who you choose to fly with can be special.”_

_“You can fly with people as friends, in groups, on your own,” Aunt Peggy continued. “But when it comes time to fly with someone you love, that… that’s special.”_

_“I doubt I’ll have to worry about that,” Tony grumbled._

_“You will, my dear heart,” Aunt Peggy wrapped one of her wings around him. “You will.”_

“Jarvis, my man,” Tony called, “let’s run the Y78 program again and see if we can get it past 45%.”

“Of course, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “Magnification of 60%?”

“You got it.”

As Jarvis started running computations, Tony let himself daydream for a little bit.

What would having friends look like? Could he be friends with James Barnes and Steve Rogers? James just seemed so… kind.

He ran his hand over his face in embarrassment. _Great, one cute boy and I turn into a fucking Hallmark card._

But what if…

He shook his head. _No, that kind of stuff is for other people. I just need to focus on building the casing and fixing my spine. Once I can do that, I can fly again. Once I can fly again, I can be out of pain. Once I can be out of pain, I can get off the infusions. And then… and then I can be free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to kocuria for the incredible banner!
> 
> Few pop culture notes: 
> 
> \- Liz Nugent's [_Unraveling Oliver_](https://www.amazon.com/Unraveling-Oliver-Novel-Liz-Nugent-ebook/dp/B01MPZL74T/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3H41P6XC3K5C4&keywords=unraveling+oliver&qid=1576985226&sprefix=unraveling+oli%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1) is a cracking thriller that everyone should read. 
> 
> \- Reference to Steve's "great uncle Harlan" is a nod to _Knives Out_.
> 
> \- Reference to North Shore High is a nod to _Mean Girls_.


	2. Chapter 2

**October**

Homecoming at North Shore, especially for Bucky’s circle, was a deal. You see, alterations to wings - dyes or extra feathers - were generally frowned upon for normal life. They damaged feathers and could cause rapid feather loss, which only a few people wanted to risk. Exceptions were made, however, for formal occasions. The Academy Awards every year, for example, always featured the latest in wing enhancements. Not that North Shore High’s homecoming was on the same level - but no one told Darcy Barnes. And even if they had, she wouldn’t have cared.

The gym was decorated in their school colors - blue, yellow, and white - with balloons and crepe paper adorning the walls. Tables were set up around the perimeter of the dance floor for anyone who wanted to take a break while dancing. Or, like Bucky, wanted to avoid dancing all together. Punch and snacks were provided, but the Homecoming Committee had decided not to serve a full meal that year due to budget cuts. Well, that was the public story - Bucky had a feeling it was because the year before, infamous asshat Brock Rumlow and his goons had started a food fight.

Bucky grinned into his punch glass as Darcy spread her wings for everyone to appropriately ooh and ahh over them. This year, she had rainbow glitter in a pattern that made it look like her wings had been dipped in the glitter itself. Nat and Steve had obviously let her decorate their wings as well, but both were more subtle. Nat’s crimson wings had laces of pink through them, while Steve’s blue was adorned with bright yellow highlights that Steve complained made it look like he had school spirit. Steve Rogers was definitively anti-school spirit. Darcy was magic, though, and everyone knew it.

Bucky had let Darcy talk him into a spray coating for his beige main feathers that created a pattern of swirls and curly-cues. He regretted it, though, because it made him all itchy. He checked his watch - two hours before I’ll be allowed to leave. He loved his sister, he did, but he hated being her Barbie doll.

“Barnes,” Nat said quietly from her seat on his left. “Have you clocked Carbonell?”

“This is a trick question, Tash, and I’m not falling for it,” Bucky replied, equally as quietly.

She snorted and rephrased. “Have you noticed that he’s sitting all by himself and that Rumlow is heading over to him?”

Bucky’s hands clenched into a fist. “Yes and no.”

“Well, look alive, slugger,” she murmured and turned to talk to Darcy, who was seated on her other side.

Bucky quickly found Tony, but didn’t see Brock or his gang at first. He scanned the crowd quickly and noticed them congregating in a corner nearest to where Tony sat, engrossed in his phone.

“Stevie,” Bucky tilted his wing to nudge his best friend. “Trouble in the corner.”

Steve Rogers was known on campus for three things. One, he was a disgustingly good artist. Two, he only showed up to school events when Bucky, Nat, or Darcy were involved in them. Three, he did not abide bullies. All 5’5” of him was coiled rage, ready to lash out at whoever picked on anyone. While his wings indicated a growth spurt was coming, it hadn’t happened yet.

Steve’s eyes darted to where Brock and his chief sidekick, an idiot named Jack Rollins, had taken a seat on either side of Tony. If it was possible, Tony had made himself even smaller and was clearly not welcoming the attention.

“You get him out of there, and I’ll take care of them,” Steve replied, getting up from his seat and arranging his wings into a defensive posture.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” Bucky snapped.

“We’re at a dance, genius,” Steve snapped back. “Ask him to dance.”

Steve’s statement was like a knock upside the head. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Just ask the boy he liked to dance?

“Brock, Jack,” Steve greeted each loudly as he and Bucky arrived at the table. “I didn’t think you guys were allowed back after last year.”

“Rogers,” Brock snarled. “Put your wings away, we’re just having a chat with our new friend here.”

“Yeah,” Jack chimed in. “He looked lonely.”

“Tony, are you lonely?” Steve asked him directly.

“N-n-no,” Tony stammered. “Honestly, I was fine. I tried to tell them that.”

“See, fellas?” Steve grinned widely at Jack and Brock and Bucky began to pray they got out of the dance without bloodshed. “Tony was fine. You can scamper back the sewer you crawled out of.”

“Fuck you, Rogers,” Jack spat.

“Right, this is when we leave,” Bucky murmured and moved quickly to be in Tony’s line of vision. “Tony, would you like to dance?”

Tony blinked a few times. “With you?”

“Potentially yes, but my sister’s free, too,” Bucky smiled, his heart clenching just slightly that Tony might not be into men.

“He’s not going anywhere until he tells us where he got that fancy phone,” Brock interrupted.

“Tony,” Bucky repeated, standing up and offering his hand. “Would you like to dance with me? I like this song.” He had no idea what song was playing.

“Yes,” Tony said on a breath, as though he was afraid if he didn’t get it out quickly, it wouldn’t come out at all. Bucky let his smile spread across his whole face.

“Fantastic,” Steve said. “I’ll just keep Jack and Brock company until they find a new hobby or I tell Ms. Potts they’re here! Whichever comes first.”

Tony quickly took Bucky’s hand - a shock ran through Bucky’s body, all the way to the tips of his feathers at the contact - and the pair made their way to the floor. As they arranged themselves in a traditional high school dance position - hands on hips and shoulders with a weird amount of space between them - Bucky noticed the song that was actually playing.

_Maybe I’m amazed at the way you help me sing my song_   
_Right me when I'm wrong_   
_Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

“Can I,” Bucky said, “spread my wings a bit around you? Would that be okay?” _Please let him say yes. Please let him say yes._

Bucky swore he heard a faint British accent say _“Sir, I believe it’s an offer in good faith”_ before Tony nodded. Bucky had never slow danced with anyone before, unless you count Darcy at about a thousand of their friends bar and bat mitzvahs, and a handful of family weddings, but he’d watched movies and he knew what making a smooth move with your wings looked like. Usually, however, the other person spread their wings and you kinda met in the middle. Bucky had seen Tony’s wings and knew there were limits on how far they could spread.

“I can’t go very far,” Tony said softly. “They only stretch so much.”

“That’s fine,” Bucky said quickly. “Mine can meet yours just where they are, you just have to move a little closer.”

Tony shuffled towards Bucky and spread his wings as far as they could go. Bucky caught the wince on Tony’s face and wondered - not for the first time - if Tony’s prosthetic was painful. Once Tony was in Bucky’s arms and wings, however, something in him settled. He didn’t believe in soulmates, he didn’t believe in love at first sight - no, Bucky Barnes was too logical for that. Flights of fancy were his sister’s department.

But then he held Tony Carbonell for the first time.

They swayed to the sounds of Jem in silence for a few minutes until Bucky decided to ask the question that had been plaguing him for weeks. “So, they’re fake, right?”

Tony’s entire body stiffened and he pulled back from Bucky’s embrace. “My wings are fine.” His voice was steely and Bucky knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“I never said they weren’t,” Bucky back peddled, “I just noticed -”

“Noticed what,” Tony snapped. “Noticed that they’re black like a freak’s? Like I’m pretending to be Batman? I must have have a goth fetish? Or be a vampire? Noticed that they don’t stretch right? What did you notice? Bring it on, Barnes, I’ve heard it all.”

Bucky shook his head in bewilderment. “No, Tony, I just -”

“You know what, this is exactly what I told Aunt Peggy would happen if I came to this stupid dance,” Tony said to Bucky. He extracted himself from Bucky. “Fuck you.” He spun on his heel and left, but not before Bucky heard that same British voice say, _“Sir, I think you are making a strategic error,”_ and Tony reply with, “not now, Jarvis.”

Bucky was frozen on his feet for a few moments. He noticed the song change and that the bodies around him began to move at a more rapid rate and shook off his shock. Once he was back at his table, Nat looked at him.

“I have no idea,” he said, answering her unasked question.

“You don’t know why you’re sitting here and not following him?”

Bucky blinked. “I thought you wanted to know what happened.”

“I don’t give a shit what happened,” Nat replied. “But you cannot just let him walk away looking hurt.”

“I’m not gonna stalk him through the halls,” Bucky protested and Nat rolled her eyes.

“Did he tell you to stay away from him?”

“No, but he did tell me to fuck myself.”

“Then go give him a chance to either take that back or tell you to leave him alone,” Nat said. “But Rumlow noticed Tony leaving and that Steve’s dancing with Darcy so-”

Bucky didn’t even let Nat finish her sentence before he was up and out the door of the gym. He walked the hallways a bit before heading out to the parking lot. There, he found Tony leaning up against a wall, with his wings on the ground next to him. Even in the dim light, Bucky could see the straps that went under Tony’s clothing to attach them to his body and he was more convinced than ever that they were made of some sort of hard plastic, since they didn’t slump while on the ground and leaned against the wall in what they always referred to as ‘wing rest’ - feathers gathered against your body and folded away. His feathers always got messy when he sat on dirt. These looked pristine.

_Well, that confirms that theory._

“Tony,” Bucky called out to alert the other boy to his presence. Tony’s head snapped up and turned in Bucky’s direction.

“Barnes, I’m fine, I don’t need rescuing.” Tony’s voice sounded tired and Bucky’s heart hurt.

“Good, because that’s Stevie’s job,” Bucky replied easily.

Tony barked out a laugh. “You’re trying to tell me that you asked me to dance because you wanted to? Hilarious.”

“Yes,” Bucky said simply as he reached Tony’s side. “I asked you to dance because I wanted to.”

Tony blinked a few times - as though needing to process that piece of information - before he glanced back down at his wings. “Yes, they’re fake. How did you know? No one ever knows.”

Bucky shrugged. “I pay attention.”

“To what? To me?” Tony laughed. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” Bucky said quickly, before he lost his nerve.

Tony gaped at Bucky but said nothing.

“The feathers move in a pattern,” Bucky continued, “and you don’t have any new growth at all in two months. The pattern is good, not everyone would notice it, but I like puzzles and so I noticed it. Also, you have that strap that I can see sometimes when your t-shirts shift and black feathers are rare, but I did some research and found out that polymers are hard to paint in ways that make feathers look realistic. This YouTube channel I found of a guy who does movie makeup for Disney said that they have to CGI colors onto any prosthetic wings because the paint never hits it right, except for black. So I figured that was probably the same for yours.”

“You _researched_ ,” Tony shook his head.

“I was curious,” Bucky shrugged. “Not because there’s anything wrong with your wings or with you, or because I was judging you or any of the stuff I’m sure people have said to you. I was curious because they look like they hurt you a lot and I figured anyone who went to that much trouble and pain to fit in must have been through fucking hell and back. I know it’s none of my business, but I’m too curious for my own good, as my sister says, so I just kept… I’m sorry they hurt you so much if they do, by the way."

There were a few beats of silence before Bucky continued. “Oh, and then did I hear your feathers talk to you or am I hallucinating?”

Tony laughed softly. “That’s Jarvis. He’s my AI.”

“You have artificial intelligence built into your wings? How?”

“Because I built my wings,” Tony replied, turning slightly so that he was looking at Bucky as they both leaned against the brick wall of the school.

“You built your wings,” Bucky said slowly. “That’s… that’s mindblowing.”

“I mean, it took me a few prototypes - these are Mark IX - but yeah, I built them,” Tony ducked his head and Bucky wondered if the other boy was blushing.

Without thinking, Bucky reached out his hand and titled Tony’s head back up so that they were making eye contact. “You’re a fucking genius, you know that? That’s incredible. You are incredible.”

Tony’s cheeks went dark red and he moved out of Bucky’s grasp. “Wires make sense to me. It’s not that special.”

“Tony,” Bucky said, “I can’t understand how a computer knows how to turn on and something tells me you’ve built one from scratch.”

“A few, yeah,” Tony admitted.

“When, like, how long ago?”

Tony looked back at Bucky. “I built my first one when I was four.”

Bucky was about to reply when he heard footsteps behind them. He turned to see Ms. Potts advancing on them quickly. He was about to start talking when Tony did it for him.

“Auntie Pep, I’m fine. Aunt Peggy’s on her way.”

_Auntie Pep? Aunt Peggy?_

“Yeah, she texted me,” Ms. Potts replied. “Oh, hello Bucky.”

“Hello, Ms. Potts.”

“Bucky was just keeping me company,” Tony supplied. “Until Aunt Peggy got here.”

A look passed on Ms. Potts’ face that Bucky couldn’t quite identify, but he tucked it away as part of his ‘Tony Carbonell Puzzle’. “Okay, well, please remember your routine when you get home.”

“Like Aunt Peggy won’t make me,” Tony grumbled, but Bucky could hear the affection in his voice.

At that, Ms. Potts smiled. “If you’re okay here-”

“I am, Auntie Pep. I promise.”

When she was clear of earshot, Tony explained. “I live with my aunts, Ms. Potts is married to my Aunt Peggy. My parents died when I was 12.”

“Holy fuck, Tony, I’m so sorry,” Bucky said.

Tony shrugged. “It was an accident. I like living with Peggy and Pepper, though.”

“Ms. Potts’ name is Pepper?”

Tony chuckled. “It’s technically Virginia, but I couldn’t say that when I was little. I saw her eating hot peppers one day and called her ‘pepper’ and it’s stuck. Plus, the red hair and everything, so everyone just calls her that now.”

Bucky laughed. “That’s amazing.”

Tony kept smiling, but changed the subject. “Your family - I know you and Darcy. Is there anyone else?”

Bucky was about to answer when he saw a car pulling up and Tony started to pick up his wings. “That’s my ride.”

Bucky pulled out his phone and tapped the screen a few times. “Can I have your number? We can WhatsApp?”

Tony blinked a few times and then rattled off his number. Bucky grinned as Tony climbed into the car.

_Well, that was a pretty good night._

* * *

“Are you okay?”

Tony was futzing with his phone and didn’t respond immediately.

“Anthony,” Aunt Peggy’s tone was strident.

“Sorry, Aunt Peg, it ended good.”

“It ended well,” she corrected in her crisp English tone.

“It went well,” he emphasized. _There, WhatsApp is downloaded, now do I just wait for him-_

Tony’s phone buzzed with a notification.

“What’s that noise?” Aunt Peggy asked.

“I think,” Tony replied with a hint of wonder in his voice, “I made a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song they dance to is from Paul McCartney, but I need to admit to liking [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMXXAkJUv4s) cover better.


	3. Chapter 3

**November**

_WhatsApp: James Barnes_

_James: So how long have you been into computers?_

Tony’s heart did that funny thing it did whenever James asked him a question about himself. They’d been texting pretty consistently since the disaster of a dance and most of the time it was about stupid stuff or Tony’s very strong feelings about what Disney had done to the Star Wars franchise, but every once and a while, James would ask a question that just made Tony fuzzy inside. He wants to know me, his heart whispered and he found that somewhat miraculous.

_Tony: lol, as long as i can remember. I taught myself most of the programming languages before I was 10._

_James: That’s insane._

_James: I can walk backwards without falling over._

_Tony: Good for you?_

_James: I just thought I’d share something I was good at._

_Tony: lol, you also threw for 275 yards in this week’s game which is 3x the national average for a quarterback of your size._

“Oh fuck,” Tony said out loud. “DUM-E, I told him I follow his stats.”

“But sir, you have been following Mr. Barnes’ stats religiously since the beginning of the term,” Jarvis replied.

“Yes, but he doesn’t know that,” Tony gritted out.

J _ames: I didn’t know you followed football._

“I don’t follow football, I think it’s a dangerous sport that encourages violent behavior among hormone charged adolescents, but I’d follow you to fucking Mars,” Tony muttered to himself.

_Tony: Auntie Pep wants me to be more involved in school._

“Auntie Pep could give two fucks about the football team,” Tony said to DUM-E, who beeped and blooped encouragingly.

_James: Well, then I’ll be sure to look for you in the stands._

_James: Are you coming to the fall term art show tomorrow night then? We’re all going for Steve - he’s showing this weird sculpture he did out of plastic that’s some sort of protest against consumerism. He’s really proud of it._

_James: I think it looks weird._

_James: Never tell him that._

“We’re keeping secrets now,” Tony reported to the room at large.

“Very good, sir,” Jarvis replied. “That demonstrates a level of trust.”

_Tony: Who is ‘we all’? I don’t want to be in the way._

_James: You won’t be. I mean, I kinda come as a packaged deal with Darcy, Steve, and Nat. Oh, and most of the time Jane. And Thor, I guess, when he’s not traveling with the soccer team._

_James: And Sam._

_James: But really just the first three._

_Tony: I come as a solo package._

_James: Then there’s plenty of room :-D_

Tony looked up and blinked a few times.

_James: I’d like you to come._

_James: If you want._

_James: But I’d like it._

_Tony: Then I’ll be there._

_James: By the way, don’t know if you know this, but my friends call me Bucky. I can’t remember if i told you that already._

_Tony: jesus god, why?_

_James: LOL._

_James: Middle name’s ‘buchanan’. dad’s a history prof and he did his PhD on President Buchanan. And there are always like, fourteen million james in every class so Stevie started it._

_Tony: You’ve known him your whole life?_

_James: Yeah, since he moved in next door when we were four._

_Tony: So the art thing is a big deal?_

_James: It’s his dream. A dream i don’t always understand, but you do things for family, right?_

“I wouldn’t really know,” Tony muttered but then thought about how the aunts were teaching him a different version of that word.

_Tony: yeah. even awkward art shows, apparently._

They texted back and forth for a while longer about details - Tony was to meet them all at 5:30 at the YMCA where the show was being held and then they were all going out for dinner after - and then the conversation moved on to Star Wars versus Star Trek (as it already had a thousand times before) and all of a sudden it was 2am and Tony was falling asleep with a smile on his face and his phone in his hand.

* * *

“Bucky, stop fidgeting.”

“What if he doesn’t come?” He snapped to Nat, who rewarded him with a raised eyebrow as she furiously tapped away at her phone.

“It is 5:25 and you said he doesn’t drive, so someone is dropping him off, and so maybe they’re running late.”

“His meds don’t let him,” Bucky replied defensively. “And his pain, sometimes it’s so bad in his hips that he can’t do much with his legs. It’s not that he can’t. He’s really smart, I’m sure-”

“James,” Nat said softly.

Bucky sighed and scuffed his feet along the ground in frustration. “I just really want you all to like him.”

“Friends meeting the boyfriend are-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

She took a deep breath through her nose. “But you want him to be, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s stressful having him do a friend thing with us. You said you’ve talked to him everyday since homecoming?”

Bucky nodded.

“That’s six weeks,” Nat said.

“Five and a half,” Bucky corrected, “but yeah.”

Nat smiled and wrapped her wing around him. “James, we have been friends for how long?”

“7 years,” he smiled and fluttered his wing so she knew he was happy with her. “Since you helped me pack Stevie’s nose when he broke it on that field trip.”

Nat snorted. “You mean when he broke it by running into Alex Pierce’s fist.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean,” Bucky laughed.

“So then, you know that I love you,” Nat replied quietly. “All I care about is that he makes you happy and he doesn’t hurt you intentionally. From school, he seems quiet and a little odd and I have no idea how to talk to him, but if you tell me that he’s sweet and makes you happy, then I’ll give him a chance.”

Bucky pressed a small kiss to her temple. “Thanks, Tash.”

“Also, look alive, I think he’s walking up.”

Bucky extracted himself from Nat’s wings so quickly that he tripped over his own feet. He heard her snort behind him as he walked towards Tony, who was making his way towards the door of the YMCA.

“Hi, Bucky,” Tony said, and Bucky didn’t bother to hide the grin on his face. He’d seen Tony at school, sure, but this was the first time they’d seen each other outside of school since the Homecoming Dance. Between football practice for Bucky and Tony’s pain levels, there just hadn’t been a chance.

“Actually,” Bucky confessed, stepping closer to Tony and taking his hand tentatively. He was relieved when Tony squeezed Bucky’s hand back and shifted so their fingers were interlaced. “I kinda like it when you call me James.”

“Good, because Bucky sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud,” Tony replied.

Bucky laughed. “Well, Stevie coined it when we were in kindergarten, so I ‘spose it fits. Can we go see my friends?”

Tony smiled, his mouth twisting in a slight show of nervousness. “I’d like that.”

For the rest of the evening, Bucky watched as the people who knew him best rallied around the boy he was finding himself falling for. He saw Nat and Darcy ask him questions, and Thor trade stories with him about some fantasy series they both read. Steve was a bit of a nervous mess, but even he’d been sure to make Tony know he felt welcome.

At one point, Darcy helped them find an abandoned room so that Tony could take his wings off in private and the Barnes twins exchanged barbs while Tony quietly showed Bucky where it was most helpful to massage his back. Darcy spread her wings over both of them and turned her back so that they’d have privacy and Bucky had never loved his sister more. He reached back with his left wing and brushed hers in the special pattern they’d established years before.

 _I don’t have words,_ his ruffles said, _but I love you._

 _You’re an idiot,_ her ruffles said back, _but I love you._

At the end of the evening, after they’d all occupied a giant table in the corner of the gang’s favorite diner and appropriately celebrated Steve’s prize of “Best Statement Piece”, Bucky walked outside with Tony to wait for Peggy to pick him up.

They sat on a bench and Bucky once again found his hand in Tony’s, as had happened for most of the night.

“I had a good time,” Tony said, a note of something Bucky couldn’t quite place in his voice. _Maybe shock?_

“You say that like you’re surprised,” Bucky noted.

Tony nodded and leaned into Bucky - he felt the press of Tony’s prosthetic against his own feathers. “I’ve never really made friends before. Too busy making other things.”

“Well,” Bucky drew the word out, “now you make friends, too. They liked you, I could tell.”

“How?” Tony was clearly skeptical.

“Oh, just a few small things. I mean, I can read everything on Darcy’s face, so I know she likes you. Steve’s liked you since you helped him out in calculus with that problem and didn’t make him feel dumb. The hard sell tonight was Nat, because she’s naturally suspicious of everyone, but whatever you said to her in Russian…”

“I just asked if her grandmother made borscht with the marrow bones in the stock or out,” Tony shrugged.

“Yeah, I don’t know what that means,” Bucky laughed. “You made her feel… None of us know Russian and I certainly don’t know what that food is. You do and you did and I could tell you made her feel noticed.”

“You’re not the only one who observes closely, pal. I notice things,” Tony replied with a twist of a smile. “When you spend as much time alone as I do, you get used to noticing everything.”

“Oh yeah? What do you notice about me?”

Bucky heard Tony swallow as he shifted within Bucky’s casual embrace. “I notice that you’re gorgeous, obviously,” Tony started and Bucky laughed. Tony continued, “I notice that you love your sister and your friends, I notice that you don’t let anyone be mean to the waterboys at the football games or harass the cheerleaders. I notice that you take really detailed notes in Auntie Pep’s class, but not in Mr. Meyerson’s.”

“Meyerson’s an idiot,” Bucky muttered and Tony smirked.

“I notice that you’re kind,” Tony’s voice dropped a bit lower and he began to run his free hand up and down Bucky’s arm. Chills went down Bucky’s spine, which caused his wings to shift. He rearranged himself so he was sitting facing Tony and his wings blocked them from view of others.

“I notice that you make me happy,” Tony whispered. “I notice that I feel better when I’ve talked to you.”

Bucky’s heart leapt. “Can I tell you what I notice?” At Tony’s nod, he continued. “I notice that you’re beautiful, and that you’re brave, and that you’re a total badass.”

Tony snorted in derision and Bucky used his hand that wasn’t still attached to Tony’s to push Tony’s chin up so they were eye-to-eye. “No, listen to me right now. You are incredible. I know I don’t even know half the shit you’ve been through and you amaze me. So I notice that you’re a badass. Deal with it.”

Tony rolled his eyes but kept quiet - which is how Bucky knew he had him.

“But most of all, I notice that you like me,” Bucky smiled. “Just like I notice that I like you and I really notice that I’d like to kiss you.”

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Excellent observations, Mr. Watson.”

“Oh, so you’re Sherlock?”

“Obviously.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Obviously, he says. I better give you something else to do with that mouth.”

“Please,” Tony’s voice broke slightly and Bucky cupped his jaw and brought their lips together.

Bucky could taste where Tony had worried his lip so much that there was a bit of blood, and could feel Tony’s breath catch when he used his tongue to open Tony’s lips. As the kiss deepened and their tongues began mutual explorations, a car horn honked and the boys jumped.

Tony peered through Bucky’s feathers and slumped. “Aunt Peggy.”

“Well, fuck,” Bucky sighed and shifted so his jeans wouldn’t be quite as tight as they’d gotten.

“I’ll text you when I get home,” Tony said.

“No, text me once you’re done with the heat treatments and everything. I’m sure you’re sore since you wore them so long.”

Tony pursed his lips and pressed a quick kiss to Bucky’s cheek. “See, I notice that you’re kind.”

Bucky sat on that wall for a couple of moments after Tony left, gathering his thoughts and realizing that he’d fallen for the other boy pretty damn hard. He went back inside and pretended nothing was wrong, knowing full well that Darcy would drag the story out of him the moment they got home.

Which is exactly what she did. He’ll give her credit - she waited until he’d brushed his teeth, washed his face, and climbed into bed with his phone in hand, prepared to text with Tony for the next several hours.

“He’s adorable, Jamie,” Darcy said, as she flopped onto Bucky’s bed. She was the only human being alive allowed to call him ‘Jamie’.

Bucky bit back a blush, but knew his sister would read him anyway. “I really like him.”

Darcy clapped her hands with glee. “Tell me everything.”

* * *

**December**

“Who did you get?” Bucky asked Tony.

“The point of a S _ecret_ Santa is that it stays secret, you idiot,” Tony laughed and hit a few buttons on the Xbox controller. “Are you even paying attention? That’s, like, the ninth time I had to cover you.”

“Bullshit, I’ve had to cover you the whole game,” Bucky responded.

“Nag,” Tony replied.

“Mule,” Bucky responded and the pair broke out in smiles. They’d watched _League of Their Own_ with Tony’s aunts the week before and learned that ‘nag’ was another name for a donkey, courtesy of one of Aunt Peggy’s patented feminist rants. They’d been calling each other the words ever since.

“Did you get Steve?” Bucky pestered.

“I’m not telling you,” Tony laughed.

“You got Steve,” Bucky concluded.

* * *

The Saturday before Christmas, their extended friend circle gathered at Darcy and Bucky’s house for their annual holiday party. The only person in the entire group who went to church was their friend Sam, and Jane was in the process of converting to Buddhism, but Christmas was whole heartedly celebrated nonetheless. They wore ugly sweaters, and ate far too much, and drank egg nog (except for Steve who hated it and lectured everyone about how gross it was every year and they all ignored him) and exchanged Secret Santa gifts.

The rules of their version of the game were simple. Names were drawn the first week of the month and it was Mrs. Barnes’ job to make sure no one got their own name. She then kept a list in case someone forgot their name - Thor had a bit of a reputation for doing so - and everyone was limited to $20 for the gift.

Mrs. Barnes had winked at Tony when Tony told her he had gotten Bucky and Tony had started work that night on Bucky’s gift. Now that the day was here, he was nearly bouncing out of his seat.

“Okay,” Steve said around 4:30 in a booming voice, “time for Secret Santa gifts!” The group all arranged themselves on various pieces of furniture (or laps if you were Tony and curled into Bucky’s) in a general circle. The first giver was always Darcy since the whole thing had been her idea back when they were all in 7th grade. From there, they just went around the circle, which meant that Tony calculated he’d be the fourth giver.

Darcy gave Nat a new set of leg warmers for dance and a book she’d been wanting, Sam gave Steve a band for his FitBit, and Bucky gave Thor a set of energy supplements the other athlete had been dropping unsubtle hints about.

When it came time for Tony, he leapt off of Bucky’s lap and hurried to the Barnes’ garage, where he had hidden the bag. When he came back and presented it to Bucky, he found it difficult to breathe.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Tony, who had taken a seat on the floor in front of him. “What is this and did it cost under $20?”

“You need to open it and it cost $11.25 in parts,” Tony sassed back and stuck out his tongue.

“In parts,” Bucky replied with the eyebrow still raised as he withdrew a slim, hard something from the bag. The room was quiet as Bucky unwrapped the wrapping paper.

“Tony,” Bucky breathed reverently. “This cost more than $11.25.”

“No,” Tony shrugged. “I had most of the stuff already, I just needed the glass for the screen and I found that from a fix-it place and just shaved it down myself.”

“Tony, you built me an iPad.”

“No,” Tony corrected. “You’re holding the first prototype of a StarkPad.”

“What’s a Stark?” Darcy said.

Tony took a deep breath. He and his aunts had talked about this and decided it was time for his friends to know. “It’s my last name, my real one. Carbonell was my mother’s name, but when I came here, we decided I could get a fresh start and maybe make friends without that name hanging over me.”

Realization dawned on Nat’s face. “You’re that kid.”

Tony nodded slowly.

“Um, help the current events illiterate,” Sam called from his place on the couch.

“Stark Industries? The weapons company? A few years ago, their founder died and then their CFO went to prison for child endangerment and the kid’s name was never released but everyone speculated it was the Stark heir since no one had heard from him since his parents died,” Nat rattled off in her matter-of-fact manner. Tony could feel all the eyes in the room on him and he took a deep breath. Aunt Peggy had told him to expect this, that someone would know, and in some ways, it was easier to have Nat explain everything like she was reading headlines from the _New York Times_ than it was for him to say it.

He did, however, appreciate the stink face that he could see Bucky throwing her.

“That’s me,” Tony said lamely, as he turned to face the rest of the room. “I just… I’ve just hated lying to you all and now I know I can trust you.”

“Of course you can,” Steve said firmly and quickly scanned the room. “This won’t leave here unless you want it to.”

Tony slumped in relief and Bucky hauled him up to his lap with one arm.

“But you’ll keep going by Carbonell, right?” Darcy clarified and Tony nodded.

“I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do after this and I realized I’d like to try to see if I can make stuff and sell tech rather than weapons, either under Mom’s name or mine, but I’d like it to be mine. When I made this for James, I knew this is what I wanted to start doing more of, and I’m proud of it, and I want it to have my name, not the one I’m forced to use because someone was… Because someone used me once,” Tony concluded.

“I’m dating a fucking genius,” Bucky said loudly and Tony had a feeling he was doing it to take the attention off that last line. Tony leaned into Bucky just a little bit harder, letting Bucky know the action was noticed.

“You taking orders, Stark,” Sam said pointedly, “because I got $11.25 to spare.”

Tony laughed and nodded. “StarkPads for everyone once James plays a bit and we find all the bugs. But yes, StarkPads for everyone.”

The group was abuzz with that revelation and the gift giving continued until the circle reached Steve. He reached under his chair and pulled out a 5x7 box and handed it to Tony. “Merry Christmas, Stark,” Steve grinned and Tony grinned right back. Hearing his friends use that name was a piece of his healing he hadn’t even really known he needed until it happened.

Tony tore off the wrapping paper enthusiastically to find a simple picture frame that read “Framily”. The picture inside was himself, Bucky, Nat, Steve, and Darcy - taken the week before when they’d all been collapsed on the couch together at the Barnes’ and Mrs. Barnes had insisted on a picture.

“That’s the word we use for us,” Bucky whispered in Tony’s ear. “Friend and family in a portmanteau.”

Tears stung Tony’s eyes as he looked up and searched for Steve, who had taken his seat once more. “I…”

“It’s true,” Steve said simply.

He felt Darcy’s fingers scratch his back in greeting and then Nat was right in his line of vision. She pressed her forehead to his and said softly, “you aren’t your body.” He had no idea how she was so good at reading his mind.

“Thanks, Bluebird,” Tony cleared the tears from his throat and called out. He’d started doing nicknames for the gang as he became more comfortable. There was something about the camaraderie that got to him and Steve’s was the easiest and the first. Blue wings. Bluebird. Easy. Nat was, currently, Scary Spice which had evolved from Ginger Spice after she dyied her hair red at the beginning of December. Darcy was proving trickier, but she kept insisted on Princess and he kept telling her that her picking her own nickname didn’t count.

“Anytime, Carbonator,” Steve replied with the nickname he’d coined for Tony a few weeks back, after Tony had diagnosed the sound Steve’s car was making just by listening to it. Tony schooled himself to not preen at the word. _Be cool, Stark. Be. Cool._

The gift exchange went on, and the sounds of holiday cheer echoed throughout the Barnes house. When Tony got home that night, he went immediately down to his workshop and hung his new picture in a place of pride.

 _Framily_ , he thought and then opened his phone and changed the name of their group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note for those not familiar with high school football stats: It's not completely crazy that Bucky's at 3x the national average. Nearly every high school in the U.S. has a football team and most of them are pretty crap. I decided that if Bucky had great aim with a gun, he'd have great aim with a football and put him in the upper middle of the pack. Not going to get any scholarships or go pro, but their team probably went to the playoffs. 
> 
> Also, 'waterboys' are the folks who stand on the sidelines and provide water bottles for the athletes. In a lot of American high schools, they're special education students, but certainly not always. In the high schools I've worked with professionally, they tend to be picked on. Bucky, of course, would make sure they were treated kindly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a long one, folks, and is a bit of a rough sit. We find out *exactly* what Obie did, so if you're not into knowing that, skip "January". It's not in flashback form, just Tony reporting to Bucky what happened, but mind yourself.

**January**

“Are you sure?”

Bucky and Tony had been dating for about three months, but Bucky had never been down to Tony’s workshop. They mostly hung out at the Barnes’ or the Rogers’, but when they were at Tony’s, they largely hung out in the family room or - on a few occasions when Aunt Pepper was feeling lenient - in Tony’s room.

Bucky had been dying to see the workshop, but he knew that it was Tony’s most sacred space and that Tony would bring him there when it was time.

Evidently, a snowy Saturday in January was the time.

Tony nodded decisively. “You know Jarvis already, and I want you to meet DUM-E and U and the new kid.”

“Have you named him yet?” Bucky asked as they descended the stairs.

“I’m leaning towards Butterfingers,” Tony replied, “because I can’t get his grip right. I used the newest alloy J and I came up with for the top coat of the wings for his hands and it evidently is too smooth to attach to anything. Which is a good thing for wings, because air and bird poop and other various debris, but not so much for the hands of a robot I built to help in the workshop, so I’ll have to go back to redesign I suppose. Hey boys, James is here.”

While Tony had been monologuing, Bucky had been busy staring gape-mouthed around the basement. There were at least seventeen computers, with screens of various sizes, and three workbenches - one of which looked like…

“Tony, is that a welding helmet?”

Tony blinked at Bucky. “Yeah, how else do you think I get the stuff to stick together? Fire melts metal. Jarvis, where are we on the stem cell model?”

“Hello, Master James, it is good to see you in Sir’s shop,” the AI responded.

“Doesn’t answer my question, J,” Tony retorted.

“I know someone has taught you manners, Sir, I just don’t know where we all went wrong.”

As the pair continued to sass each other back and forth, Bucky couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He’d heard Jarvis and Tony go back and forth before, but Jarvis wasn’t always at full strength in the wings. He could hear whatever Tony could, but Tony hadn’t figured out a way to get Jarvis to be able to sense everything around him when he was out of the workshop. He’d explained it to Bucky a few times, but Bucky was still confused. All he really knew was that he’d suspected for a long time that Tony was his most full self here in this space and it was great to get confirmation.

“Jarvis, it’s good to see where you live,” Bucky replied.

“And we are delighted to have you,” Jarvis said. “Gentlemen?”

Two bots immediately whizzed up to Bucky and made a motion that Bucky interpreted as a bow. He reached out tentatively and patted each on the head and then took their outstretched claws and shook them. “Pleased to meet you.”

“That’s DUM-E,” Tony pointed to the bot on the right, “and that’s U. Butterfingers is around here somewhere.”

“He’s charging, Sir,” Jarvis interrupted.

“Got it, we’ll let him sleep then,” Tony said and grinned widely at Bucky. “You want the tour?”

“Please.”

Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand and took him around to each computer monitor and explained what it was doing ( _“This one is running computations on something called nanotechnology that I’m really excited about, but I can’t get anyone at Cal Tech to answer my emails, so I have nothing to compare it to.”_ ), then to each work station to explain the piles of metal ( _“My theory is that if I can get my spine to be able to handle a permanent implant - which has to be really light and yet unbreakable - then I can permanently attach a wing base to me, which means I can have wings that I hardwire into my nervous system. I’m a long way off, but that’s where we’re headed.”)_ , and then finally to the couch in the corner.

“This is where I talk to you from the most,” Tony explained as he curled into the corner but stretched his feet towards Bucky.

“I like being able to see it,” Bucky replied and pulled Tony closer to him. “I like seeing your brain work.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You see it all the time.”

“Not like this,” Bucky replied and kissed his boyfriend. “This is something else.”

Tony futzed with the edges of his sweatshirt and Bucky knew something deeper was on Tony’s mind. “What’s up, dollface?”

Tony squirmed a bit, releasing himself from Bucky’s hold and retreating to the corner of the couch once more. “I promised Dr. Anderson I would bring you here, and that I would tell you as much as you wanted to know.”

Tony’s voice held a quality Bucky couldn’t quite place, but if Tony was talking about his therapist, he knew that was significant. “About what?”

“About why I can’t fly.”

Bucky took a deep breath and reached to take Tony’s hand. “I want to know whatever you want to tell me, whenever you’re ready.” Tony wasn’t the only one in this relationship who’d gone to outside counsel for help.

_“Ma, I just-”_

_“No,” Winnie Barnes shook her head firmly at her son. “It is his life and if you care for him at all, you will let him tell you at his pace and when the time is right for him. The testimonies from that trial were horrific, James. I cannot imagine what that boy went through and he gets to tell you his story when he wants.”_

_Appropriately chastised, Bucky picked at his fingernails. “I just want to make sure I’m being the best boyfriend I can be.”_

_“I know, chicken,” Winnie replied with a fond smile. “And that’s why you’re not going to say anything.”_

But now Tony was offering and Bucky’s heart rate was escalating.

“It’s going to be best, I think, if Jarvis helps, is that okay?” Tony couldn’t meet Bucky’s eyes.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Bucky replied quickly and Tony nodded decisively.

“So, you know a lot of the beginning stuff,” Tony said, briefly meeting Bucky’s eyes and then looking down again to where his hands worried the hem of his hoodie. “Mom was Maria and Dad was Howard. They met on a blind date when Mom was in college, and I think they had a lot of chemistry once but I can’t remember a time where they acted like they loved each other. I didn’t know that then, of course, but I see the aunts now, or your parents, and …. I’m pretty comfortable saying they _functioned_ together.

“I’m also not entirely sure that they loved me,” Tony’s smile was wry. “I was a status symbol for a little while, but then my wing colors came in really early and the worst thing to be in the upper crust is different, so they homeschooled me and spread the rumor I was at boarding school.”

“How old were you?”

“When they started keeping me away from others? Four.”

“Jesus fuck,” Bucky swore.

“Quite, Master James,” Jarvis quipped.

Tony’s smile at that was just a little warmer, but still nothing like his normal one. “I didn’t know any different. I got socialization from television - _Sesame Street, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, Spongebob, Lizzie McGuire_ \- I picked up on how to be a human from those, basically. Except for Jarvis and Ana.”

“Human Jarvis, I’m assuming,” Bucky replied.

The smile that evoked from Tony was genuine. “Yes.”

The simplicity of that word and the silence that lingered after it were statements in and of themselves. He and Tony had talked a lot about human Jarvis and the very beloved Ana.

“Dr. Anderson is convinced that I’m a functioning human because of them,” Tony continued. “They were why I knew that how my parents were wasn’t… it wasn’t what I wanted out of parents or family, and when Obie locked me up, it was the memory of them that kept me fighting.”

 _Locked him up_ , Bucky’s brain started whirring, but he stayed quiet.

“But you know those bits. And I guess basically living in the mansion and not knowing anyone my own age would have been awkward and traumatic enough, but then I turned 12,” Tony closed his eyes briefly. “J?”

“Of course, Sir. My namesake and Mrs. Ana were both killed in a car crash four days after sir’s twelfth birthday. Six weeks later, his parents were both killed in a plane crash. While they originally presented as accidents, we know now that they were both intentional murders planned and paid for by Obadiah Stane.”

“The CFO,” Bucky replied.

“Former, yes,” Jarvis said. “Upon the death of Mr. and Mrs. Stark, Tony was passed into the care of Mr. Stane. He quickly discovered that for the previous six years, most of the innovation that Stark Industries had unleashed upon the world were, in fact, thanks to Tony.”

“I remember just after the funeral,” Tony said quietly. “Aunt Peggy came to the mansion to tell Obie that she was sure I’d been left to her, that she was my godmother and that she didn’t know why Howard would have changed the will. Obie said horrible things about Aunt Pepper and said that Howard didn’t want me with… Anyway, we know now that Obie falsified the will.”

“Instead of sir being passed into the care of Ms. Carter,” Jarvis continued, “he was passed into the care of Mr. Stane.”

“He wanted me to invent all the time,” Tony said. “Made me come up with new ideas every week and I- I couldn’t.” Tony’s voice broke on the last word and Bucky moved without thinking to gather Tony into his arms.

“Of course you couldn’t, baby, everyone you loved had just died.”

“There were the usual abusive acts - he slapped me around, he hit me with a belt, all the shit you see on TV. But the real mind fuck was when he started removing privileges for every time I wouldn’t behave.” Tony’s voice was thick with tears and Bucky could feel his shirt getting damp. “First it was my favorite foods - so I got fed, but it was all roast chicken and boiled broccoli. Pizza was a reward food, and so were M&Ms. He never took away music, because I needed it to work, but he took television and movies and books.”

“Which is when Sir invented me,” Jarvis supplied. “I was his 13th birthday present to himself.”

“I was so lonely,” Tony supplied. “And my life before then wasn’t full of parties or anything, but it was better than what he was doing. He’d moved into the mansion, because that’s where my workshop was and I think he liked living in Stark Mansion, and so I’d also see Ana in the kitchen whenever I went up there, or Mr. Happy in the garage. He was the chauffeur.”

“You were living in a nightmare,” Bucky murmured and he felt Tony nod.

“After I figured out how to make Jarvis portable - I was about 13 and a half - I started plotting my escape. Logic told me that if Aunt Peggy knew what I was being forced to do, she’d rescue me. There was no way she would leave me there, I knew it. I wasn’t particularly surprised that Howard left me to a monster, because he was always more interested in what I made than in me, but I knew Aunt Peggy wouldn’t stand for it. I knew he was monitoring all the emails and every time he noticed me hacking through a firewall, he took something else away. So, on my 14th birthday, I took off.”

Both Jarvis and Tony were quiet for a few minutes and so Bucky spoke up. “What happened?”

“He shot me out of the sky about two miles from the main house,” Tony said with no emotion in his voice, as though he was talking about someone else. “Brought me back to the mansion and started pulling my feathers in chunks. He poured acid on the bones to eat at them and then finally ripped the joints out of my spine.”

Bucky swallowed vomit and fought the urge to turn his hands into fists.

“Sir was basically held captive until three days before his fifteenth birthday, when Ms. Carter broke down the door with two of her associates at the agency and carried Sir out of the building.”

“Evidently, Obie had been sending her emails pretending to be me. She was immediately suspicious and so she started building a case against him to get me back. She was going to sue him in court until I finally managed to get a message through to her and she came the next day,” Tony explained.

“What was the message?”

Tony chuckled. “I built a phone out of the supplies Obie provided me with - he never wanted us to do stuff like that, he only wanted me for weapons - and texted her quickly before I destroyed the phone in case Obie found it on one of his workshop raids. We used to talk in code all the time when my parents were alive and so I used the one that meant I was mad and wanted to see her. So the text said ‘won’t you be my neighbor?’

“She and Aunt Pep obviously live, what, a two day drive from the mansion, so I wasn’t expecting an instantaneous response. But I got one,” Tony replied.

“Mr. Stane was arrested on child endangerment that afternoon and Sir was transported to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia for extensive surgeries that would take the better part of the following six months,” Jarvis’ crisp tones held a hint of pain that Bucky could empathize with.

“Obie’s trial was fast-tracked because Aunt Peggy called in about four hundred favors, and they kept me out of it completely,” Tony said, finally pulling back from Bucky’s embrace and looking into his eyes. “I’m evidently really lucky that I can walk.”

“I think you’re the strongest living creature that walks this planet,” Bucky said, not able to keep the awe out of his voice, “and so I’m not surprised.” A blush tinged Tony’s cheeks and Bucky gave him a quick kiss. “How long is that motherfucker in jail for?”

“He hung himself this summer in his jail cell like a coward,” Tony supplied, “but he was supposed to be in there for the rest of his natural life. Child endangerment was what they got him for, but after he went to prison, they found the hitmen he hired for the two accidents and added to his sentence. There’s a story about a prison riot and someone attacking him and I know it’s bullshit. They let me identify his body - I wanted to, don’t go feral on me - and there were ligature marks on his neck. Motherfucking coward hung himself."

“He’ll never hurt you again,” Bucky said softly.

“I know,” Tony said simply. “He’s in my nightmares and I curse him whenever it rains and my hips ache or whenever I watch you fly and I can’t, but I know he won’t ever hurt me again and that’s the upside of him being dead. But on my bad days, I wish he would have suffered for longer.”

“So, who runs the company now?” Bucky asked after a few moments of silence.

“Aunt Peggy is my proxy in the board meetings and she says they hired a really excellent woman named Carol Danvers, who was, like, a captain in the Air Force before she got medically discharged when an IED got her right leg. She’s expanded our prosthetic line so much and I’m really happy about that. She just finished her PhD in Organizational Leadership at Harvard. Her husband, James Rhodes, is our military liaison and so they understand that world. Which is good, because I don’t. I just make the tech.”

“You still do that?”

Tony nodded. “High school is kinda boring, and the wing project is a long game that I think I need other scientists for, so I still do designs.”

“That Jericho thingy?”

“I hate it, but it’s mine,” Tony said. “If I want it, I get the whole thing on my 21st birthday, but I get voting rights on my 18th. Aunt Peggy knows I want to stop making weapons, and so we may talk to Dr. Danvers soon about shifting some corporate priorities. Dr. Danvers and Colonel Rhodes are the only people at SI that know all the details, I think. Most of that world thinks I’m still away at boarding school.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment before he kissed Tony again. He racked his brain for what his mother would say in a situation like this. “What do you need from me?”

“You’re perfect,” Tony said quickly.

Bucky made a face. “I’m not.”

“Well,” Tony amended, “I don’t need you to do anything different than you’re already doing.”

Bucky nodded. “Thank you for telling me all of that.”

“Thank you for giving a shit,” Tony replied.

“Oh, I give all the shits, baby,” Bucky replied. “All of them.”

“Dr. Anderson was right,” Tony remarked. “I do feel better now that you know.”

“Good,” Bucky kissed him slowly. “Good.”

They sat wrapped up in each other for a few moments until Tony asked Bucky to tell him a story.

“What kind of story?”

“One I should know that I don’t,” Tony replied.

Bucky racked his brain. “Ah, well, then let me tell you about the day Steve asked if he could date Darcy.”

Tony brightened immediately and clapped his hands together. “Yes, perfect.”

Bucky laughed. “So, anyone with eyes knew that he’d had been mooning after Darcy since he knew the difference between boys and girls. I mean, he’s been gone for her for a long ass time and she had no idea.”

“How’d you know?”

“Well,” Bucky scratched the back of his neck with the hand that wasn’t wrapped through Tony’s. “He was always looking out for her and not in the way that I do. Like, she was the only one who could ever see his paintings before they were done. Stuff like that. I dunno, we all just knew.”

Tony chuckled.

“It was about two years ago and I got this weird ass text from him, or a snap, I think it was a snap, to meet him in the backyard and so I went out back to that tree that’s a seat? You know, that one behind my mom’s tomato plants?”

“Yeah,” Tony nodded.

“That’s always been the spot to have serious talks,” Bucky smiled. “I came out to him there, we talked about his mom’s cancer there -”

“Mrs. Rogers has cancer?!”

“Shit, sorry, she did. She’s in remission. Breast cancer, we were 10.”

“Okay,” Tony settled. “Carry on.”

“So we get to the spot and he’s so nervous I think he’s about to break up with me or something and then suddenly he blurts out that he’s in love with my sister,” Bucky said.

“What did you say?”

“I told him I knew, but thanks for the information,” Bucky laughed, “and he slugged me in the shoulder and asked if he could ask Darcy out. Told him it was up to her, but that as long as I never saw his hands in her swimsuit areas, I didn’t give a fuck.”

Tony cracked up and shook his head in bemusement. “You still feel that?”

“Okay that they’re together?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky nodded quickly. “Oh yeah, they are perfect for each other. If they ever break up it will be because one of them became a pod person. Nat and I talk about it a lot, since she’s got that creepy way of just knowing shit, she checks in every once and a while to make sure I’m still good with it, that it doesn’t weird me out. But honestly? I’m just torn between whose side I’ll stand on when they get married someday.”

Tony chuckled. “By then, I’ll have figured out life model decoys or cloning or something, so we’ll just handle it that way.”

“Sounds like a plan baby, sounds like a plan.”

* * *

**March**

_Whats App: Framily_

_Bucky: I swear to god if you don’t all stop talking about those stupid socks i’m actually going to murder you._

_Tony: Babe, they’re toe socks. They have individual spots for your toes._

_Bucky: I got it the first fourteen times you guys all made me wear them._

_Bucky: I have hated things between my toes since time immemorial and I’m not changing my mind over some fucking socks._

_Steve: such language!_

_Darcy: Aw, grumpy cat is grumpy again?_

_Darcy: Tony, can you help us out here? De-grumpify him?_

_Tony: If I ever find his de-grumpify switch, I’ll let you all know._

_Bucky: I AM IN THIS CHAT._

_Nat: Oh, sorry, didn't’ notice you there over my joy at owning toe socks._

_Bucky: I’m leaving._

_Tony: Don’t worry, he doesn’t know how to take himself out of a group chat._

_Bucky: I’m deleting the app._

_Darcy: Tony will just incept your phone and put it back on._

_Bucky: I HATE YOU ALL._

* * *

_WhatsApp: Tony is a Genius_

_James: *eye roll*_

_Tony: You said I’m supposed to be prouder of my achievements._

_James: Yeah, but I was referring to stuff like that robotics guy asking you to co-author a paper, not making DUM-E figure out how to get my pants unbuttoned as soon as I walk into your workshop._

_Tony: Trust me, getting DUM-E to do anything on command that doesn’t involve a fire extinguisher is a genius move._

_James: I’m going to have to resort to wearing track pants._

_Tony: U is more trainable._

* * *

_WhatsApp: Framily_

_Nat: I had a fucking awful afternoon at work and someone needs to feed me pizza._

_Bucky: I have two more hours on my shift, but then I’ll be there._

_Nat: Ah, how goes life at the Gap?_

_Bucky: About the same as trying to teach small humans how to do ballet, I’m sure._

_Nat: Fuck work._

_Steve: I’ll get you pizza if you agree to not quit. Don’t make me go into the reasons you can’t quit._

_Nat: Oh, spare the Mother Hen Rogers. Fine. Extra pepperoni._

_Darcy: Oh! I want one with sausage._

_Bucky: You were not a part of this._

_Darcy: I am ALWAYS a part of everything._

_Tony: Truer words._

_Darcy: It lives! We haven’t heard from you since Thursday. You took four-day-weekend to heart._

_Tony: Fell down a robotic rabbit hole._

_Nat: We figured. Was there food down there?_

_Tony: The Aunts kept me fed and watered._

_Steve: We’ll come to you, then. The Aunts okay with that?_

_Tony: They always are, but I’m fine. You don’t need to come here because I was silent._

_Steve: No, we’re coming to you because then you don’t have to bother with your wings. See you in 30, Stark._

_Nat: resistance is futile._

_Tony: Fine._

_Tony: And thank you._

_Darcy: Family, Stark. Get used to it_.

* * *

**June**

“I swear I’m fine, I’m used to this,” Tony told his boyfriend.

“I just hate it when you have to sit here -”

Tony cut him off with a kiss. “I would hate it more if you guys didn’t do a celebratory flight that you’ve been talking about for months because you happen to be friends with a defective.”

Bucky scowled at that last word and Darcy stepped up. “What if we take turns? The flight doesn’t have to be all together all the time - we have all day, after all. My wings are tired anyway, so shoo, Buckaroo, I get to be with Tony first.”

It was the Saturday after graduation and the gang had been planning this flight day for a long time. It was a bit of a tradition for high school graduates to take their first flights as “adults” not long after the ceremony, and Darcy had wanted to make it a bit of an event. So they all drove out to a state park nearby that had a big lake and decided to make a day of it.

Tony had been telling Bucky since they’d planned the day that he was fine but Tony could see the look on Bucky’s face, even after Darcy’s proclamation.

“Actually, Darce,” Tony said, “I want James to stay with me first. Is that okay?”

Something passed between the siblings and Tony saw Bucky slump just a little. _Oh good, Darcy’s on my side here_.

“Fine by me,” Darcy replied and she pushed Bucky down onto the blanket Tony was sitting on.

“Bye Darcy. Have a nice flight,” Tony smiled.

She smirked at the verbal cue and took off, but not before throwing one last look at Bucky that even Tony knew meant ‘you’re being an idiot’.

“James,” Tony turned and pressed their foreheads together. “Do you trust me?”

“What?” Bucky drew back in shock. “Of course I trust you.”

“No, baby,” Tony shook his head sadly. “It feels like you don’t.”

Bucky went to say something and then clearly thought better of whatever it was. He took a few deep breaths. “Why?”

“Because I told you I was okay with what was happening today. I told you when Darcy planned it, I told you last night on text, I told you this morning, and instead of trusting me to say what I mean, you’re telling me I’m wrong about my own body.”

Bucky blinked a few times. “You’re bad at telling me when you’re in pain. You mask it too much for me to fully trust the word ‘fine’.”

It was Tony’s turn to take several deep breaths before responding. The air between them felt thick and Tony knew this was one of the most significant conversations they’d have. “I can accept that.”

Bucky smiled tentatively. “I can accept that I forget to trust you.”

Tony nodded and reached to play with Bucky’s feathers the way Tony liked. Hard conversations always meant he needed something to do with his hands. “So, we both need to work on this.”

“What if,” Bucky said softly, “I banned you using the word ‘fine’ with me? If you don’t need my help, can you tell me you’re functioning or something? And if you do need my help, can you use another word? Just… fine means nothing. You’re always fine and I don’t know what to do with that. Or maybe a scale of colors? I know you hate the spoon thing everyone talks about, but we need something else.”

Tony was quiet, and so Bucky barrelled on, his voice in the cadance Tony knew meant he was nervous. “I know that was the only answer you ever gave your parents, and I know it was the only answer you ever gave Uncle Asshat.”

Tony bit back a grin. He personally loved how Bucky never used Obadiah’s name.

“But I’m not them. And if you have to use that word with everyone else, that’s okay, I can handle hearing it, but I need something different because I need to know I’m loving you the way you need, that I’m caring for you the way you need me to and not the way I think you should be taken care of.” Bucky finished in a rush and grabbed Tony’s hand like it was a life raft.

“Someone’s been reading the caregiver blogs again,” Tony remarked lightly.

Bucky nodded. “They help.”

Tony reminded himself of something that Aunt Peggy had said a few months before, when they had their version of this conversation.

_“Tony, you are a champion at being in pain. You handle it with dignity and I’m so proud of you for not letting it defeat you. However, you have no idea how to love someone who is in as much pain as you are all the time. You need to respect that this is hard for us, too.”_

“I know I’m not easy,” Tony said, and held his hand up when Bucky went to interrupt. “I’m not saying that like a martyr, I know I’m not. And it’s not like I mean to lie to you guys, I just… I get tired of being in this body and not… that might not make sense, but more than anything I just want to be... “ Tony ran his hand through his hair in frustration, scratching at his skull in a vain attempt to make the words come easier. “I know I’m a burden sometimes and I wish I wasn’t. But when I say I’m fine, it’s because I am. It’s because whatever is happening in my body is normal for me and I can handle it.”

“Are there times you tell me that when it would be easier to handle if I did something?”

Tony considered this for a moment and decided to be brave. “Yes, but I don’t always know how to ask and you offering all the time makes me grumpy.”

“I have noticed that,” Bucky chuckled. “So what do we do?”

“First we do this,” Tony leaned and kissed Bucky, long and slow and just how Bucky liked it. When he pulled back he looked directly into Bucky’s eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Bucky smiled.

“I can find different words to use.”

“And I can stop mother henning you so much.”

“And we’ll go from there,” Tony said, with a tone of finality that signaled to them both that this bit of the conversation was over. “Now, go fly.”

“But-”

Tony brandished his tablet. “J and I are running computations on alloys right now, so I’m plenty busy and fine here on this cozy blanket. Go. Fly.” He gave Bucky a quick kiss and a shove and finally his boyfriend acquiesced and took off towards their friends.

About a half an hour later, Tony felt a breeze and looked up from his tablet to see Darcy landing nearby.

“You appropriately chastised Clingy McBucky?”

Tony grinned. “I did, and he did it right back.”

Darcy nodded and settled herself on the blanket. She reached into one of the myriad tote bags they had bought, filled with food, snacks, and games, and found a banana. “I’m trying to eat more fruit because Steve’s started sending me articles about scurvy.”

“He does love through passive aggressive article sharing,” Tony remarked.

Darcy nodded and then her eyes went wide. She motioned subtly with her hand and pointed out woman who was about to take off in flight. “There is no way that color is real.”

Tony squinted. “No, you can see how it’s uneven.”

“But why would someone choose baby blue with neon green accents?!”

“Is it worse to be cursed with it permanently, or to choose it temporarily?” Tony mused and the pair spent the next several minutes people watching and making snarky commentary at those gathered around the lake.

As Darcy was explaining her theory of why trying to bring big floats to a public lake was actually disturbing the peace when Tony felt a twinge in his lower spine that meant it was time for a pain patch. She stopped talking when she noticed him dig into his backpack and produce a yellow packet.

“You use those a lot?”

Tony looked at her quickly. “Tiger Balm patches? Yeah. They’re just as good as the ointment, but they’re not messy. Easier to manage.”

“Do you want me to put it on?”

Tony was about to say he was fine, but then remembered back to his conversation with Bucky. Twisting to put the patch on the exact right spot wasn’t easy and Darcy was offering. “Yes, please, right in the middle of my spine at the bottom.”

She took the patch from him and he lifted his shirt slightly to give her access. He wasn’t wearing any wings that day - he didn’t see the point. He didn’t have to pretend with his friends and he didn’t really care what random people at the lake thought.

“God, this is sticky,” Darcy muttered as she smoothed the patch onto Tony’s back.

“Well, that is their main function,” Tony quipped.

She knocked him gently upside the head, and he grinned. He’d always wanted a sister and she was well on her way.

“Are they the best at pain relief? These patches?”

He considered the question for a moment. “They’re the ones I use the most. I really, really hate pills - not only because of the addiction factor, but because they make my brain feel like it’s running through molasses and I hate that. Nothing takes the pain away, but the patches and then a few other things help relieve it for a while.”

“What other things?”

“Ahhh,” Tony searched his brain. “Heat and ice. I like hot water bottles over pads you have to plug in. Acupuncture, massages, yoga - those all help, too.”

Darcy nodded. “Would it help if we all massaged you, too? Not like that, but I know you’ve shown Bucky where the worst knots are. Steve’s got really strong hands.”

Tony wiggled his eyebrows. “And strong fingers, too, I suppose.”

“You want my help or you wanna be gross?”

“I’m a multi-tasker at heart, Darce,” he grinned, but she was smiling, too, and he was proud of himself for making a joke. They were getting easier and easier to work into conversation the longer he was around his friends. He liked being funny, and sarcastic, and a little lewd. Before now, he’d kept all the comments to himself. Yet another way that James Barnes had changed his life.

“I repeat, you want help or you wanna be gross?”

Tony laughed. “The patch is good for now. But I’ll let you know, Darce, thanks.”

She nodded matter-of-factly and then changed the subject to the latest episode of _Queer Eye_ she’d watched the night before on Netflix and before Tony even checked the time, the others were back for snacks. The rest of the afternoon rumbled on and Tony got to spend time with Steve, Nat, and Sam in equal measure. It was a good day that only strengthened Tony’s resolve to solve the skeletal reinforcement problem so that he could join them one day.

A few days later, Tony was down in his workshop when Aunt Peggy appeared on the stairs, carrying what looked to be a large gift bag.

“What’s that?”

“Darcy and Steve just dropped it off, darling,” she replied. “It’s heavy.”

He took the bag from her outstretched hand and felt its heft. Pulling out the tissue paper, he started laughing. Nestled inside was a hot water bottle with a felt cover, approximately twenty boxes of pain patches, two bags of sour gummy candy, and a shareable size bag of caramel M&Ms, which he had told Darcy at the park were his favorite.

There was also a card.

_Tones -_

_I figured you could use another hot water bottle and I also got one for our house and Steve’s house, too so you have one in all the places we hang out. I even made my dad buy us an electric kettle so we could get the water hotter faster - thank Aunt Peggy for the rec on that one, will ya? Also, I’ve put packets of pain patches in all of our cars and before you snipe at me, remember we all have Steve’s inhaler in all of our places, too, even if he doesn’t need it that much any more. This is what we do._

_I know we’re all a little much sometimes and I know that sometimes you probably wish that Buckster hadn’t come with so many nosy friends, or at least you did at the beginning, but he did. And you’re ours now, too. So we want to help, we want to know how to make your pain better in any way we can. And on the days we can’t, we just want to make you as happy as possible._

_You are the one of the greatest things that has ever happened to my idiot brother and so I also want to thank you. If for no other reason than that, I’d love you. But I also love you because you’re kind and smart and a wiseass. So if I ever hear you call yourself defective again, I’ll kick your ass and Steve won’t even stop me._

_No one talks about people I love like that._

_Darce_

Tony sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall and looked up at Aunt Peggy. “I have some pretty great friends.”

She smiled and pulled him into a hug. “You do, pet. You do indeed.”


	5. Chapter 5

**October, Everyone But Tony's Freshman Year of College**

_WhatsApp: Darcy &Tony_

_Tony: We really need a better name._

_Darcy: I’m workshopping some things._

_Tony: How are classes?_

_Darcy: They’re fine. The mid-term in my ancient civ class is gonna be a bitch._

_Darcy: Oh, and I’m thinking pre-law? Northeastern’s pretty good and I can switch into it for second semester._

_Tony: I can program a thing for you quick to help you study and put it on your StarkPad._

_Tony: and you’d make a terrifying lawyer. Do it._

_Darcy: you’re ridiculous._

_Darcy: I love you, but you’re ridiculous._

_Tony: So that’s a yes?_

_Darcy: of course it fucking is, I’m drowning here. You need my notes?_

_Tony: Any materials you have, scan them in and dropbox them to me and then Jarvis and I can have some fun._

_Darcy: Don’t you have work to be doing?_

_Tony: I’ve told you, darling, I’m an expert multi-tasker._

_Tony: Besides, I’m done with MIT work. Now it’s just SI stuff and wing stuff. Practically an empty plate._

_Darcy: For this week?_

_Tony: For the degree._

_Darcy: You finished your master’s degree in a month. I fucking hate you._

_Tony: Well, I did most of the dissertation work already - they’re letting me use Jarvis._

_Darcy: You know I still haven’t forgiven you for not telling us you finished college last Christmas. You robbed me of a chance to throw you a truly epic graduation party._

_Darcy: And I throw a fucking EPIC party._

_Tony: I was there for you and Bucky’s 18th._

_Darcy: Then you understand what you have deprived the world of._

_Tony: I have told you all four thousand times, high school was boring and just a front._

_Tony: Basically an elaborate plan so I could get laid._

_Darcy: gross._

_Darcy: but it that true, i’d be really fucking impressed._

_Tony: and I’ll walk in May with the other M.S. candidates and you can do a party then._

_Darcy: promise?_

_Tony: pinky swear, sis._

_Darcy: i’m never gonna get tired of that._

* * *

**May, Freshman Year**

_WhatsApp: Framily_

_Nat: Steve, did you get the balloons?_

_Steve: Yes, Natasha. And the cake balls from that place in Brighton, which was four extra T stops._

_Steve: Remind me again why this party had to happen in Boston and couldn’t have waited until we were somewhere driveable again?_

_Bucky: Because Darcy said so._

_Bucky: And even if she’s not checking her phone, you know she reads back._

_Bucky: So I’d shut your pie hole._

_Tony: or your cake ball hole._

_Tony: wow, that was not my best work._

_Nat: Graduating with two masters in one year is exhausting._

_Tony: I really am quite something._

_Nat: you know, I liked you better before you believed in yourself._

_Tony: hold your tongue, nat! I am a delight._

_Tony: a delight who is happy to help with this party that Jarvis won’t disclose any details about._

_Bucky: you sit back and relax, baby, we got this._

_Tony: if you’re sure._

_Nat: Stark, Bucky’s going to be lifting heavy things. If you’re a good boy and stay put, I’ll make him take his shirt off and take some video._

_Tony: I’m behaving!_

_Bucky: I did not agree to this objectification._

_Tony: You agreed to it 18 months ago when you kissed me outside the diner._

_Nat: no schmoop on main._

_Bucky: But you can talk about videos?_

_Nat: that’s not schmoop, that’s a public service for male attracted folks. Just because i’m ace doesn’t mean i don’t know you’re fucking hot, Barnes._

_Bucky: I AM OFFICIALLY UNCOMFORTABLE._

_Tony: Nat, he’s yelling._

_Darcy: WHERE ARE THE HOT PLATES._

_Darcy: STEVEN._

_Steve: I’m on my way, babe._

* * *

**December, Sophomore Year**

_WhatsApp: Boo_

_Tony: I’m not gonna be home tonight, the reaction is taking forever._

_James: Babe, that’s four nights in two weeks. I don’t love this._

_Tony: I know, but I gotta take this shot._

_Tony: I’m fine._

_James: i want evidence you’ve come home and showered and eaten something besides a Dunkin breakfast sandwich at some point tomorrow._

_Tony: What day is it?_

_James: December 20._

_Tony: the lab is closed the 24-2 so i need all the time i can get_

_James: And when are we flying home?_

_Tony: that is a great question, James, when are we flying home._

_James: you can imagine my face right now._

_James: the 22nd. We’re flying home on Sunday._

_James: And don’t you dare try to convince me you won’t just take the nanowhatevers back home and work on them in your lab there. Jarvis is in both places._

_Tony: i promised you four days and you’ll get them. 24, 25, 31, 1. I promise._

_James: I just worry._

_Tony: I know. I’m a 6 on my pain scale right now. When I hit 8, I’ll come home._

_James: you’re letting DUM-E slap on the patches?_

_Tony: Yes, honey._

_James: Shower tomorrow._

_Tony: Yes, honey._

_James: I love you._

_Tony: I love you more._

* * *

**February, Junior Year**

_WhatsApp: Aunties_

_Aunt Peggy: Carol says she loved the new phone, sweetheart! When do you think it’ll be commercially viable?_

_Tony: It’s still not shatterproof enough. I’m not happy with the polymers on the outside. We’re working on it. But i’ll have test ones for you guys in March._

_Aunt Peggy: I still don’t understand why we’re all going to Disney World in March._

_Aunt Peggy: And why you kids want all the parents there too and none of you are under the age of 20._

_Tony: Trust me?_

_Aunt Pepper: It’s going to be fun, Margaret._

_Tony: PULLING OUT THE FULL NAME!_

_Aunt Peggy: I’m deleting this app._

_Tony: Sure you are. New phone in March._

* * *

_WhatsApp: Esquire & Engineer_

_Darcy: I keep staring at my hand._

_Tony: It’s real, sis._

_Darcy: I can’t believe he did it._

_Tony: Yes you can. He has loved you since he’s known you. He had a chance to give you your dream engagement and so he jumped on it._

_Darcy: How many favors did you call in?_

_Tony: It was all Bluebird’s idea._

_Darcy: Anthony._

_Tony: I may have to be down there for a month next year to help them troubleshoot something on a new ride, but it’s no big deal. I have some time now that all the legal wrangling over the weapons line is done._

_Darcy: Thanks again for letting me look at all that stuff. It was fascinating._

_Tony: Well, one day you’ll be chief in-house counsel so i figured you better start now, Darcy Rogers._

_Darcy: STOP IT._

_Darcy: I’m not taking his name._

_Darcy: Maybe I am._

_Tony: Just tell me the name to put on the door._

* * *

**April, Senior Year**

“Tony, hon,” Bucky called as he kicked open the door to their apartment. “Can you send one of the bots to help with the groceries?”

CRASH. “Um, yes?”

Bucky winced. “Do I want to know what that noise was?”

“No.”

Bucky chuckled and set down the two heaviest bags. “Do we need to talk about workshop work staying in the workshop again?”

Tony stuck his head out of what was supposed to be their guest room, but was far too covered in wires and pieces of metal for a human to occupy it. “I’m being good!”

“Not a day in your life,” Bucky responded. “If your bots can’t help, then you have to. Come on, there’s a lot.”

“Why are we doing this?”

“Because this is what people do, Tony,” Bucky explained for the fourteenth time that week. “You just finished your PhD and our friends want to celebrate you.”

“It’s my third one, though,” Tony said.

“I know that, you know that, but they think this is your first so let them be impressed and spoil you,” Bucky crossed the apartment and pressed a kiss to Tony’s lips. “What is your brain saying?”

“That this is a lot of fuss to make over their friend’s boyfriend,” Tony muttered and Bucky noticed he wasn’t wearing any of his pairs of wings. Bad pain day, then.

“But it’s not a lot of fuss to make over one of their best friends and someone they love,” Bucky whispered and gently moved his hands to the points where Obie had crushed the joints all those years ago. Kneading gently, Tony melted into Bucky’s embrace. “This isn’t any different than the party Darce threw you for your masters, so I don’t know why this is harder for you. You are worthy of this love, Anthony Stark. We want to give it, you just gotta take it.” There was a sniffle and Bucky scolded himself for not paying closer attention over the past several days. “How long as your brain been lying like this, baby?”

“I just don’t like fuss made over me,” Tony mumbled.

“That’s a lie from the fucking pit of hell,” Bucky murmured back. “You adore a fuss made over you, you just don’t like getting one from people who actually love you. But that’s okay, we’re working on it.”

Bucky shifted Tony so that he could wrap them both in his wings.

“I’m sorry I’m so broken,” Tony whispered, his voice thick with tears.

Really, really, bad pain day, then. “Sweetheart, I love you. I love you in all your forms and for all time, and I’m just sorry that so many people have made you feel like you’re broken. You’re not. You’re strong and beautiful and I love you. But it seems like maybe it’s time to stop for the day?”

“I have stuff to do,” Tony replied.

“Nope, boyfriend override,” Bucky smiled into Tony’s hair. He unfolded his wings, ending their cocoon, and wiped Tony’s tears with his thumbs. “We’re gonna go sit on that couch, you’re going to let me rub the worst spots down with Tiger Balm, and then we’ll watch something stupid.”

“But you have -”

“I’ll go get the rest of the groceries and then send a few texts,” Bucky murmured. “You go sit in whatever way is most comfortable.”

As Tony complied, Bucky pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

_WhatsApp Chat: Framily_

_Bucky: Bad pain day on this end, so can I get a set of hands to help me with some party prep?_

_Steve: omw_

_Nat: Darce and I can get there around 3, so don’t start Nailed It without us._

_Bucky: It won’t take longer than an hour._

_Darcy: You said bad pain day. That means you won’t remember to cook dinner and you’ll end up eating take out which has all those chemicals that don’t help Tony and do we really have to go over this every time, Buckaroo?_

_Steve: I’ll stop and get the fixings for chilli and cornbread. That way it can simmer for whenever he’s hungry._

_Bucky: You guys don’t have to drop everything._

_Nat: Yes we do. Because that’s what we are. Now, go take care of our baby bird and we’ll see you soon._

As the conversation had continued, Bucky had managed to get the remaining supplies from the car and left everything else for Steve and the girls to sort.

The decision to move to Boston after high school was pretty simple. Tony was already at MIT, and Bucky wanted to go where Tony was. Darcy, Nat, and Steve joined them because they figured this family thing was working out pretty well and why should they screw it up. Wasn't like Boston didn't have colleges (Northeastern for Darcy, Boston College for Bucky and Steve) or a plethora of job opportunities (Bucky was 99% sure Nat was getting recruited by the CIA or something because he'd gone to the bookstore she said she worked at and...).

As Tony’s pain got worse, Bucky was so glad to have people around. Darcy and Steve had set a date for the fall after graduation, so who knew what the future held, but Bucky would always be grateful for the Boston years when they were all in the same ten block radius. He would never be grateful for MBTA, but he'd be grateful they were all together.

A few hours later, when everyone was piled into the living room and old episodes of _30 Rock_ were playing in the background, Tony shifted slightly from his place draped across Steve and Bucky and cleared his throat.

“I think I nearly have it.”

“Nearly have what, babe?” Bucky clarified.

“The implant I’ll need to house the wing unit. I think I have it.”

The room was quiet for a minute as all eyes turned to him.

“Is the pain bad today because you were doing tests?” Darcy asked.

Tony nodded. “I know you all want me to do them just in the lab, but Jarvis has an eye on things and I was just lifting some of the components today. But I may have gone a little overboard.”

Bucky planted a kiss on his forehead. “So, how close?”

“I need a few more tests, and to talk some of the aerospace grad students into letting me use a few machines, but I’d say two months?”

There was an explosion of chatter - pride at Tony’s way forward, assurances they loved him even if it took longer or never worked, love expressed through sarcasm and insults. Tony was animated for a while, before he finally melted back into Bucky. It took everyone a few minutes to notice that Tony was asleep.

 _Two months,_ he thought to himself as he carried Tony to their room. _Two months and we could fly together. Two months and he’d have a different story than the one Obie forced on him. Two months._

* * *

**One Month and Fourteen Days Later**

He was _resplendent_.

As Bucky watched Tony through watery eyes, that was the only word he could think of.

Resplendent.

His red and gold feathers of his top coat - made of a custom titanium alloy, each wired to communicate to Jarvis and feed Tony data straight into the sunglasses he wore - glittered against the sunlight. Bucky knew the underwings were downy soft feathers, because they’d picked them together. The growth stimulation hormone was slow, but eventually there would be a 50/50 split of Tony’s feathers between metal and natural.

They had thought of inviting all their family for Tony’s first full flight, but then decided against it. This moment was theirs. He’d been working with one of the physical therapists in town to get his back muscles used to working with wings again, and had been medically cleared for flight. The scars from Obie's various physical punishments were faded, just small white lines against tanned skin, and Tony’s body was ready for this step. So the first moment outside of a physio office where Tony would take off, soar, and land like there was nothing wrong? That needed to belong just to them.

Tony landed back in front of Bucky and held out his hands. “Fly with me, James?”

A sob caught in Bucky’s throat as he thought of all the times he’d flown without his love, all the things he’d seen that Tony hadn’t, and that now…. That was their past. This was their future.

“Only ‘cause your wings are so shiny,” Bucky replied, taking both of Tony’s hands and spreading his wings to their full length.

“Oh, the hot guy likes shiny things, eh?” Tony winked.

 _I got a shiny thing in my pocket I think you’ll like quite a bit,_ Bucky thought, but only surged forward to kiss his hopefully-almost-fiancé. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tony whispered softly.

“I’m so proud of you,” Bucky continued. “But you know I love you if you’d never done this, you know my love ain’t got nothin’ to do with these.”

Tony nodded and kissed Bucky again. “But I really want to fly.”

“Then, my love, let’s go,” Bucky replied, and the pair took off - soaring into the wild blue yonder and towards their happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this fic. I hope you enjoyed this world - comments/kudos/bookmarks feed this habit, so I'd love to know your feelings if you'd be willing to share. 
> 
> Find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/betheflame1) or [Tumblr](http://betheflame.tumblr.com) for more on these yahoos. You can also submit prompts and cajole me into writing faster - it usually works.
> 
> Oh, and one of my betas begged me to tell you how Steve and Darcy got engaged - they had dinner at Be Our Guest in the Magic Kingdom, since Belle is Darcy's favorite princess. Everyone was there and they had Nat on FaceTime. The ring came out on a rose. Everyone cried and Aunt Peggy finally understood why they were all there.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [collab: betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362237) by [kocuria-visuals (kocuria)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kocuria/pseuds/kocuria-visuals)




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